Across the Alps 2012 or maybe later...

So that's it, my life can move on: The Cro-Magnon Extreme Race for 2013 and 2014 is called off, because the Mercantour Park Management has not allowed the passage of the race. I have already said goodbye to my dream. As a matter of fact this was surprisingly easy, as my plans would have collided with my parental duties and expectations, which have changed my outlook on the whole thing. Will I say goodbye to running alltogether? No, but yesterday I ran without a watch, without a training plan and it felt nice. I'll probably keep on jogging twice or thrice a week leisurely and I feel relieved that I don't have to go through this bone-crushing madness while focussing on raising my child.

What do I learn from this? I had a lot of fun running in 2011 and finishing the Neadertrail 25th will probably be the sportive feat of my life. Yet, my priorities have changed in 2012 and I now need more time for family life and living rather than the pursuit of a slightly obsessive singular dream. Also, my knees and my bones do feel older this year, there is no going around that.

To those who made pledges - please do continue to pursue your dreams and do consider changing them when they no longer fit into your life. The sense of loss one may feel is neighbouring a new beginning.

My left knee is starting to party again. This time it is celebrating a bit further to the right at a new location, exactly where I fell upon when I flew over my shoelaces two weeks ago (doo!). So no running since Thursday, tomorrow morning I will make a new try. I know, runners who can't propperly secure their shoelaces shouldn't complain about Circus Knee coming into town...

My mountain ultramarathon plans for 2012 were brushed aside earlier this year when a knee friction syndrom, quickly followed by the arrival of our firstborn daughter, added irrelevance and impossibility to an already pretty compulsive idea. I am a parent now and my running did not dare to mix with that role for a while, for many very good reasons. Our daughter is bringing wonder into our lives and more so the older she gets.
Today I was looking at old family pictures I had never seen. Looking at my parents when they were young I do profoundly wonder how it happened that they got old? I can recognise them on those pictures, I connect what I see to story I was told, but actually I do not know their lives before I was born. Undoubtably my daughter will marvel at my own childhood and youth pictures and ask herself questions one day. We travel very far in life.
Anyway, I was gonna talk about running. My dream race, the Cro-Magnon Extreme Race, was hence out of question, yet we did fly to France nevertheless in late June. I watched the runners arriving in Cap d'Ail, happy and exhausted after a gruelling full day of running. I truely missed running.
Yet, if at first the idea is not absurd, there is no hope for it. So I have decided to give the whole thing another chance and started running again in late July. I do physiotherapy for the knee, for the piriformis muscle (aka arse muscle), for the achilles tendon and it is really helping. My running sore spots are in check so far. This week I'm running ~55km and I hope to raise that to over 100km by the end of the year - if I stay healthy.
I believe that this is now or never for my running dreams and my chance for 2013: I'm on paternity leave for nearly a full year starting November. I bought myself a running Ferrari , with which we'll have a lot of fun. I'm continuing physiotherapy and looking for a running club.
Also, I have a race plan: 10km race in December, then January to March a Winter Running Series with 7, 14, 21km races and the Vienna Marathon in Spring, and finally, hopefully, if all goes well, inch' allah - the Cro-Magnon Extreme Race in June 2013? Pray for my knee, heel and arse...

Another pledge came in some time ago from a colleague of mine who famously draws elaborate skribbles on papers during lengthy meetings. She will illustrate the poetry collection of another colleague pledged through pledge three!

I'm back in training and have taken up listening to audiobooks while running. Oliver Sacks' "The Minds Eye", Philipp Roth's "The Human Stain" and currently Robert Musil's "Der Mann ohne Eigenschaften" have accompanied me through dark and ugly winter evenings, wrapping me in a comfortable shell of story and endorphin. Next on the menu will be Leo Tolstoy's "Anna Karenina". The selection is somewhat accidental and was so far totally dependent on what I chanced upon through friends or the internet.

Further recommendations are very welcome!